Going Forward: entry for 18 October 2007

My son reached another milestone tonight: he can now crawl forward. He’s getting mobile. For weeks, he had been crawling backward. My wife and I will definitely have to buy safety locks to prevent him from getting injured.

Can't compete with a baby: 17 October 2007

After coming home from a 4-hour-long condo board meeting, I was tired and spent. But I couldn’t help but feel a tad sad when my wife told me that my mother-in-law might come to New York. Don’t get me wrong. I love my mother-in-law. But she has never visited our house since my wife and I got married nine-and-a-half years ago. She has a valid reason, in that she’s in her 70s and she says she can’t bear a long 14-hour plane ride.

About a little over a year ago, her leg began bothering her and she resorted to crutches. All the more an understandable reason for not coming. She recently began exercizes to strengthen her leg. Now, she says she no longer needs crutches. But get this: yesterday, she suddenly said she may come to visit us in New York. The reason is also perfectly reasonable. She wants more time with her new grandson. But I can’t help but feel saddened that she never thought her son-in-law was a good enough reason to visit in all these nine years. Sure, I’ve heard stories about how a grandchild broke the ice between a spouse and the parents-in-law who had never accepted the spouse but how all-is-forgiven now that a grandkid was there. But I never thought I’d get that same feeling.

Missing my wife ... longing for my son: 8-11-07

I was separated from my seven-month old son for two weeks, the longest stretch since he was born. I was away on a business trip, and during that time plus a week, my wife and my son were away in her home country, Japan. I’ve always felt that empty feeling when you come home to an empty home. This time, it was all the more sharper because my wife AND son were away. I felt that joy today of seeing them come home. My son was in the car seat hugging that security blanket as if it were Linus’. I was recovering from a cold, so I resisted the temptation of kissing him. But I hugged him, talked to him, squeezed him. Two days ago, Peter Yarrow of the 60’s folk band, Peter Paul and Mary, happened to be in the newsroom where I worked, so I asked him for an autograph for my son. When his assistant asked how old my son was, I replied, “seven months.” I then explained that I had grown up listening to Puff the Magic Dragon, the PPM song about the boy’s friendship with a dragon, and that I now play that song on my guitar for my son.

I’m so glad we never went for an abortion. I could not imagine a life without my son. He’s such a fountain of joy. I can’t wait to get home from work every day to see his smile

Four months of fatherhood & the million dollar smile

26 May 2007

Four months of fatherhood

Fatherhood is wonderful. I wholeheartedly recommend it. I’m always rushing to leave the office to pick up my son from daycare. Sure, there are those days when he’ll give us a hard time and moan and groan and cry and poohing after you’ve just changed his diaper. But let him crack that million dollar smile in the morning or evening, and you’re on top of the world. Sure, I worry about him starting college just as I’m about to retire. But for now, I’ll just treasure the joys of witnessing his day-to-day development. It’s a blessing to think of my wife and my son and me as a family. I dream of the day I can teach him to play catch and take him to a Mets or Dodgers game. I can’t wait to see his smile as we walk through the Magic Kingdom and meet Mickey’s menagerie. My wife and I think he’s the cutest kid in the world; it’s as if we’re drunk on love at first sight with our sweetheart. At four-and-a-half months of age, he just learned to add a giggle to his smile, producing his first laugh. Even small things like learning how to clasp both hands together to put his father’s finger in his mouth (I think he’s beginning to teethe) delight us with wonder. Hey, I just heard that a woman in her sixties gave birth to twins. Fatherhood at 46 doesn’t seem so old anymore. Better late than never.

BREAKING NEWS ... It's a BOY!

Weds, Feb 21, 2007

The Eagle has landed. I have to apologize for the late notice. It’s just that fatherhood takes up so much of what little free time a guy has today. But believe me, it’s worth it. I’m infatuated with our baby. Make that intoxicated. My wife and I just think he’s just so cute! He was born last month after a very long labor (we were in the hospital for four days!), but I just couldn’t find the time to write something reflective and meaningful. So I’m asking you again for your patience. Rather than just write something trite or a simple headline, I wanted to think. You deserve better. Thanks for reading and keeping up with my blog. As Arnold said, “I’ll be back.”

This is It!

Tuesday, 2 January 2007

My wife is now IN THE HOSPITAL. What began as a routine checkup with her OBGYN ended up with admission to the labor and delivery unit. She just started what’s called a cervidil about two hours ago to soften the vaginal area so she can deliver. Then if she responds within 12 hours, the docs will induce labor, so I may become a father within 30 hours from now. Wish me luck! I’ll post some of my thoughts and details in a later post. Mentally and physically, I’m ready for fatherhood!

False Alarm

Thursday Dec. 21

False Alarm

What was supposed to be a routine pre-natal visit to the obstetrician turned into a six-hour hospital odyssey. We visited with the OBGYN’s partner in the event our doctor wasn’t available fort he delivery. That doctor noted that my wife’s bloodpressure was high at 140 that particular day. She told us that if the reading doesn’t go down by the time we finish with the appointment, she’ll send her to labor and delivery at our designated hospital. If the doctor there runs tests and finds she has preeclampsia, labor would be induced and we’d become parents within 24 hours. Well, that, I’m sure, just pumped up her blood pressure even more, since my wife wasn’t mentally ready to be admitted to a hospital just yet. Premature parenthood, I guess, as opposed to a premature baby. After all, we have three more weeks to go before the delivery date of January 12. The baby himself could exit the womb any time since he’s already weighing at 5 pounds, 14 ounces. A second reading showed her blood pressure at 140. Off we were to the hospital, just two blocks away.

I called my office to tell the troops I wouldn’t be returning for the rest of the day. My wife and I wound up waiting more than an hour in triage, which is the waiting room for labor and delivery. As we were waiting, my wife worried about two things: how we’d miss the opera on the 31^st if she were to deliver; and how her office laptop was left on and that she hadn’t packed it to take home. I told her not to worry. Hey, if she delivers, at least she’d be able to take full advantage of her maternity leave, which was to start next Monday, I told her. As for the PC, I could pick that up later.

After a series of blood tests, blood pressure monitoring, a sonogram, and a urine test for protein, she was cleared. The blood pressure rose to as high as 139 but subsided. She was relieved. By then, it was already 8 pm.

I learned several things: be prepared. Yes, we had prepared a bag to take to the hospital when her labor begins. But there were still items not checked off on the must-buy checklist. And in a pressure-filled situation, it’s up to the husband to try to provide an ocean of calm in a caldron. I imagine I’ll be called upon a lot more once we get into labor. And my wife had been testy about a comment I’d made a day or two before which I thought was completely innocuous. Any of that anger directed at me dissipated and disappeared in her moment of crisis. I had unscrewed her pressure valve and had given her a shoulder to lean on.

Tuesday, Dec. 19

I got an email from my wife. She complained about my statement last night. She said that I was trying to act like a saint and care about the world when she was concerned about her personal pain.

Monday, Dec. 18

My wife and I went to the hospital to watch three films about labor, Caesarean sections and epidurals. Epidurals are given to ease the pain in labor. Caesareans, commonly known as C-sections, are the surgeries given to deliver a baby when natural childbirth is no longer medically an option. These are not pleasant topics, especially for me, since I’m squeamish about blood.

My wife is learning toward getting an epidural. That goes against almost everything our liberal earth-momma dula from Brooklyn taught us in Lamaze class. A dula, by the way, is a midwife. Lamaze instructors teach breathing techniques, among many other things, to promote natural childbirth. Epidurals, while removing pain, extends the time spent on labor. But my wife abhors the thought of pain.

Against that backdrop, we saw the films. On the taxi ride home, she asked me something that had begun to bother me. From time to time, she would complain about why women have to go through all the pain. The men, she says, only experience the pleasure of sex without the responsibility and pain of carrying a child. When she mentioned this again this night, I told her, “Only God knows why.” I then went on to paint a broader picture. Being an anchor of international news, I see footage of conflict on a daily basis: the sectarian violence in Iraq, the budding war between Ethiopia and Somali Islamists, the strife in Lebanon internally and with the Israelis. I’ve asked myself throughout the years: “Why didn’t God create a world without pain and suffering? Why not just create a world where everyone is good? True, it may be boring, but then, make it so that it’s not boring yet everyone is good and no harm is every done.” That’s what I told her. She didn’t like that response. When she made another point about her pain, I said that God could take care of that as well as the rest of the world’s suffering by making a world without pain. That got her really upset.